Finally….after almost 10 months, I have worshipfan.net back up and running.

From now on you can redirect to

It’s bigger, better and much more fun…come join me!

Justice is a concept that the Lord is really working on in my heart in the last year or so….I think this says it well.

Isn’t it funny how what you hear isn’t always what was said? I think there must be some deep life application in there somewhere….

So here’s how it went down last night. At bedtime the hubby and I were laying in bed talking for a few minuets. He said something to the effect of “I’m so glad you know me – you really know everything about me better than anyone else in my life.”  That’s nice right?

Here  is the second part of that sentence….at least how I HEARD it. “You are good in the bed and you’re ugly” I’m sorry……What did you say?

Here is what he actually said; “The good, the bad and the ugly” NOW it makes much more sense! Guess I didn’t hear  right at all. We laughed for a long time about that one!

Moral of the story……Did I really hear what I think I heard?

Ya’ll….(I can say that now that I live in the south) I really want to be the “fun girl” these days. I want to be the girl with the happy blog that readers flock to for entertainment and lighthearted dialogue! I want to be those things….but I just can’t right now.

I’ve spent the last several weeks doing some soul searching and evaluation of my priorities going into this new year (I know….it’s not as new anymore, just work with me here!) and here are the conclusions I’ve come to.

I can’t focus as much energy on blogging and “social networking” right now…it’s just not what I’m being called to. I don’t intend to shut things down and crawl away into a hole, but I honestly need to put these things on the back burner for a season and focus on the priorities that God is really highlighting for me. I will continue to blog and be active on twitter and facebook etc….but in moderation. I’m choosing to focus on some much more important things right now that need my attention.

1. Relationship with my children – specifically my daughter. I think I’ve been parenting on “auto-pilot” for awhile now and it shows. I love my kids and I know that they know it….but I want to invest more in a deliberate way in their lives this year. My relationship with my daughter, even at her young age, can be pretty rocky at times. Suffice it to say that God gave me  a challenge in the shape of my small daughter….and I want to run this particular race much better than I have. If I’m not careful I could lose big on this one…and it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Family and my children are at the top of my priority list this year.

2. Relationship building. I need more relationship….I need friendship. I’ve been self-protected for a long time now because of some relational hurts and I’ve used being busy or tired or having kids to keep people at arm’s length. I can’t do that anymore….and I’m putting a stop to it. I want to be vulnerable again. I want to reach out and I want to let people close….it’s just time to invest my energy in people. I could use your prayers on this one, cause it feels pretty scary!

3. Compassion and Child sponsorship. God really birthed something in my heart concerning Child Sponsorship and the work that Compassion is doing last year. Social justice isn’t just a good idea – It’s a biblical mandate. I’ve agreed to become an advocate for Compassion, which simply means that I work as a volunteer to promote their ministry and find sponsors for children in desperate need. I want to really give myself to this and see what God has in store….he never ceases to surprise and amaze me!

There are a few more rolling around in my heart that are still in the infant stages and can’t be articulated right now, but you get the picture. My priorities are important and will dictate the decisions that I make this year. I’m not packing up shop….but I am stepping back a bit. If you think of me, pray that I continue to follow God’s heart instead of my own – that’s a pretty tall order!

I love Craigslist….It’s one of my favorite spots on the interweb to surf for Bargains. And as anybody who knows me well can attest, I love a bargain.

Several months back I found a beautiful old wooden desk listed on Craigslist for free. It was in rough shape but just needed some love. My dad helped me refinish it and it turned into a BEAUTIFUL piece of furniture that looks fantastic in my living room.

I try to check the free items listing most days to see if there are any cool free deals out there…and today I found this:

Date: 2009-01-25, 1:21PM EST

It’s snowing today…it’s snowing A LOT today in NC. Schools are closed, Kids are THRILLED and I’m working in my jammies. My computer is located in front of a big picture window so I’m currently watching the snow fall.

If there is a better feeling in the world than a snow day….I can’t remember what it is! I adore the stillness and heavy quietness that a heavy snow brings. I love seeing the trees covered in white….and getting to stay home and enjoy it with your family? Does not get any better!

I’ll add pictures a little later…still have to get my work done.

I found this article in the New York Times today – it highlights a collection of letters written by children to our next President.

The one that made me laugh?

Dear President Obama,

Here is a list of the first 10 things you should do as president:

1. Fly to the White House in a helicopter.
2. Walk in.
3. Wipe feet.
4. Walk to the Oval Office.
5. Sit down in a chair.
6. Put hand-sanitizer on hands.
7. Enjoy moment.
8. Get up.
9. Get in car.
10. Go to the dog pound.

— Chandler Browne, age 12, Chicago

The one that shows the treasure of a child’s heart?

Dear President Obama,

I am small, quiet, smart. I love to swim and play basketball. My mom and dad are from the Dominican Republic. I am going to the Dominican Republic next year. I think you should try to change the world by building shelters for the people who live in the streets. It’s the beginning of January, and it’s cold. Good luck being the president.

— Pamela Mejia, age 11, Boston

And a little child shall lead them. Social justice isn’t lost on kids…..it’s often lost on adults.

I’ll be honest with you, I really don’t enjoy New Year’s eve or day as a holiday at all. I’ve always thought of it as a time to mourn the end of Christmas and all the fun and magic that come along with it. Truthfully, I usually feel somewhat depressed on those days.

This year, however, I’ve been determined to see the new year differently, and to look back on 2008 with different eyes – and try to remember all the blessings I’ve walked through and experienced in the last 12 months.

And the blessings? They just kept coming!

In the last year:

• We have been financially powerless….as in NO resources and NO jobs. We have had nothing and been privileged to a first row seat watching how God has provided something from nothing! It’s been literally amazing to see how our Father has worked miracles in our life this year. I’m so grateful that I can look back on the last 18 months and realize that there was nothing I could have done to change things….it was all God! To some I know it looks like we were stupid and foolish to make this move with no money and no jobs – we’ve been told both directly and indirectly that we screwed up….but you know what? At no other time in my life have I been able to honestly say that we had to rely completely on God’s provision for us. Sure it was painful at times and on more than one occasion it was confusing, but the end result and the big picture literally takes my breath away. We had nothing but our faith and the support of some significant people….and the end result is a faith that is bigger, stronger and more solid than ever because now we KNOW that God will take care of us when we follow his leading.

• We have had our expectations – what we thought we needed and wanted stripped away and radically adjusted. I can clearly remember saying to somebody when we were preparing to move that I would never consider living in an apartment again – been there and done that. I thought I needed and deserved a house for all my hard work! You know what I discovered?  I don’t need a house….I need a home. If you didn’t already know, there is a big difference! My home is where my family is. My home is where my heart is at peace and I can totally be myself. We live in an apartment right now….and all 4 of us are completely at peace! My kids love it there – they tell me all the time. I have everything I need and more. Someday we will have a house again, but I know now that what I want and what I need are totally different things. I don’t need big, or fancy or impressive….I need what my Father provides because he knows what is best for me.

• I’ve watched my husband struggle and question and wrestle and come under some significant attack both spiritually and relationally….and I’ve watched God sustain him every step of the way. He’s stronger now than he was a year ago…more sure of himself, more mature, more solid and more responsible. It’s a blessing to watch what pressure and struggle do in the heart and life of a person who is submitted to God…it creates beauty and strength!

• We have had the amazing privilege to be on the receiving end of  the loving care that happens within the Community of believers in the last year. We have been carried and encouraged, sustained and provided for on numerous occasions by loving precious people both within our family circle and within our church community and friends (both past and present). It has healed some of the broken places in my heart where I believed some lies about community….and it’s been so amazing and humbling to witness!

• I’ve watched some precious relationships die within the last year (my grandmother passed away December 27th of 2007) and I’ve seen some amazing new relationships start in the same year…He gives and takes away doesn’t he?

• I’ve seen my children grow and flourish and mature in so many ways in 2008. They love life, they love school, they love learning, they love their home and friends!

• I’ve been allowed to walk through some pretty difficult times emotionally and relationally in the last year. I say allowed, because I honestly believe that while these “difficult times” have not been something I asked for, they were something I needed. I’ve spent a lot of time in my life worrying about what others think of me and trying to please everyone…to keep peace at all costs. I’ve learned that peace at the cost of real relationship doesn’t mean much. Real relationship is difficult…and sometimes messy. Any relationship worth investing in is worth fighting for when things get difficult or messy. I’ve grown in this area, but I still have a lot of growing to do….and I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to continue that growth!

• I’ve been been provided with a job that I both enjoy and that provides me with a welcome challenge as well as the opportunity to use some of the skills that I’ve not used in years.

• I’ve walked through some significant high points and some significant low points….and I’ve seen God’s hand in each. Joy seems deeper and richer when you experience it along with pain!

While this list is by no means exhaustive, it certainly represents the scope of experiences that I’ve walked through in 2008. Some of those experiences I would never want to repeat…and some of them I hold as treasures in my heart.  I’m walking into 2009 as a fresh start…a clean slate, with an expectant and thankful heart for all that is in store for me and my family in 2009. Thanks for being part of my journey, and may your eyes be opened in a new way to the blessing of joy and pain in your own life!

I know you all are underwhelmed by the contents of my blog of late (all 3 of you!)

Life is just spreading me thin right now and I’ve decided to take a bit of a break to re-evaluate my priorities as we head into the new year. I’m learning as I get older that not having a plan…or a focus…is a recipe for trouble in my life. I tend to waste a lot of time when I’m not focused.

So for the next couple of weeks I’m going to spend my free time praying, focusing, thinking and evaluating where I should be spending my time, energy and resources in the next 12 months.

I’ll see you around!

I know it’s been a week since I posted….and I’m a crappy blogger this month, but something has to give and this here blog is it!

In the last week I have:

Attended 4 Christmas parties

Baked 9 Dozen cookies

Made 4 dozen chocolate dipped pretzels (rolled in toppings)

Made 2 recipes of fudge

Worked on a website

Worked on a blog (for work)

Wrapped all my Christmas Gifts and finished purchasing a few last minute things.

Done laundry

Cooked and cleaned

Spent “Quality Time” with my kids…

You get the picture. It’s been a busy week. So….please forgive me for my absence. Christmas is just around the corner and I will be back to normal after the holidays!

Blessings Ya’ll!