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An update…

March 5, 2008

I realize that I haven’t posted an actual update about US in quite awhile. This has been intentional on my part because nobody likes to hear bad news right? And, most of the news I would update you guys on isn’t good….so I’ve said nothing. It’s been easier to just focus on The Funny, because seriously guys, The Funny keeps me sane! I do, however, want to continue to be real and transparent, so I am going to fill you in on our lives.

Brian did have an interview for the job we were really hopeful about last week. In spite of ourselves, we were putting quite a few eggs in this particular basket. I even allowed myself to start looking at real estate postings (big mistake) and told the kids that if Daddy got this job we could probably move in a few months (bigger mistake).

He didn’t get the job. Once again, we have no significant leads (except for a part-time job at Starbucks making $7.25 an hour) and no real direction. I’ll be honest with you…..it sucks. I’ve been REALLY depressed for several days…..more depressed than I can remember being in a long time. It’s put a strain on every aspect of our lives. But you know what? I decided this morning that I had 2 choices in front of me. I could decide that God was not leading us….never was, and believe that this was all random and we were totally on our own. And, possibly believe that we had made some type of giant mistake moving here. OR, I could believe that God was orchestrating every aspect of this FOR OUR BENEFIT, and even if its hard, even if it’s painful and even when I DON’T want to do this anymore I could keep trusting him and moving forward. I think I’ll go with the second option. I don’t know anything else other than God’s provision and leading…..why would he stop now? It doesn’t make sense and I’m not happy about it, but this is where I am right now and I HAVE to just move forward. Being miserable about it doesn’t make it any easier.

So, that’s where we are at in a nutshell….I’m still working, Brian isn’t and we are a bit more broken and confused than we were even a few months ago. God is still faithful even when we are frustrated, broke and insecure. We are still in this and believing for God to move on our behalf……at least for today!

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