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Feeling sad…..

March 10, 2008

I was sitting at my desk the other day when all of a sudden I was almost overwhelmed with a tangible sense of sadness. It occurred to me that I would never again talk to my grandmother, or get a letter from her, or visit her at her house. I would never sit at her kitchen table again or eat her homemade soup. I would never again hear her on the phone doing her “prayer chain” calls.  It almost broke my heart. 

I realized when she died 2 months ago that she was never coming back….I did. But I didn’t realize what the reality of that would feel like. It stinks.

Death is hard, there is no doubt about that. It’s a loss that in some ways you never recover from. What gives me hope, however, is knowing that I will see her again. And, when I do, she will not be sick, she will not be in pain, she will remember everything and be totally at peace. That gives me hope. That makes living with the loss of her in my life, in my kid’s life, a little bit easier!

Eternity is a long time…..I’m so glad she will be with me for that!

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