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January 27, 2009

Ya’ll….(I can say that now that I live in the south) I really want to be the “fun girl” these days. I want to be the girl with the happy blog that readers flock to for entertainment and lighthearted dialogue! I want to be those things….but I just can’t right now.

I’ve spent the last several weeks doing some soul searching and evaluation of my priorities going into this new year (I know….it’s not as new anymore, just work with me here!) and here are the conclusions I’ve come to.

I can’t focus as much energy on blogging and “social networking” right now…it’s just not what I’m being called to. I don’t intend to shut things down and crawl away into a hole, but I honestly need to put these things on the back burner for a season and focus on the priorities that God is really highlighting for me. I will continue to blog and be active on twitter and facebook etc….but in moderation. I’m choosing to focus on some much more important things right now that need my attention.

1. Relationship with my children – specifically my daughter. I think I’ve been parenting on “auto-pilot” for awhile now and it shows. I love my kids and I know that they know it….but I want to invest more in a deliberate way in their lives this year. My relationship with my daughter, even at her young age, can be pretty rocky at times. Suffice it to say that God gave me  a challenge in the shape of my small daughter….and I want to run this particular race much better than I have. If I’m not careful I could lose big on this one…and it’s a risk I’m not willing to take. Family and my children are at the top of my priority list this year.

2. Relationship building. I need more relationship….I need friendship. I’ve been self-protected for a long time now because of some relational hurts and I’ve used being busy or tired or having kids to keep people at arm’s length. I can’t do that anymore….and I’m putting a stop to it. I want to be vulnerable again. I want to reach out and I want to let people close….it’s just time to invest my energy in people. I could use your prayers on this one, cause it feels pretty scary!

3. Compassion and Child sponsorship. God really birthed something in my heart concerning Child Sponsorship and the work that Compassion is doing last year. Social justice isn’t just a good idea – It’s a biblical mandate. I’ve agreed to become an advocate for Compassion, which simply means that I work as a volunteer to promote their ministry and find sponsors for children in desperate need. I want to really give myself to this and see what God has in store….he never ceases to surprise and amaze me!

There are a few more rolling around in my heart that are still in the infant stages and can’t be articulated right now, but you get the picture. My priorities are important and will dictate the decisions that I make this year. I’m not packing up shop….but I am stepping back a bit. If you think of me, pray that I continue to follow God’s heart instead of my own – that’s a pretty tall order!

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