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What's going on?

June 2, 2009

frustration

Hey friends, it’s been a few days hasn’t it? I’ve tried to post a few times in the last week but I’ve just not really had much to say – and I almost always have something to say!

Here’s the dealio…I’ve been struggling this last week. I’m not depressed and I’m not feeling hopeless, but I’m still struggling. I feel overwhelmed. I feel frustrated. I feel restless and even a bit anxious. I could come up with something funny to post instead of telling you how I’m actually feeling, but I’m trying hard to live authentically – and authentic gets you the me that’s struggling today!

So what’s going on? Why am I overwhelmed, frustrated, restless and anxious? I wish I could be truly honest! My nature is to be transparent, but I’ve learned the hard way that a public forum isn’t the right place for too much transparency. 

Let me say this…I’m ok, we’re ok and it’s all going to BE ok. Today is hard, this week has been hard and some areas of my life have simply been hard for quite awhile. 

I’m embracing the reality that it’s ok to struggle, to question and to be real. It doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t change who God is and it doesn’t change the reality of the incredible blessings that are part of my life.

Today is one of those days where I wish I had a totally anonymous blog so that I could honestly vent…lay out what I’m thinking and feeling. Talk about what’s going on and not fear that people who know me will read it and misunderstand! Since I can’t do that….what I will say is, I’d appreciate your prayers!

We’re on the verge of some biggish decisions, some vision casting, and I feel as if in some ways we are “at the fork in the road”  –  I’d love some prayerful support! We’re walking through some relational brokenness that is taking a toll and we would love God’s wisdom.

The bottom line? We are ok…I am ok, but we could be better. I could be better. I feel discouraged, but I also feel hopeful. I’ve been around long enough to know that God often does his best work when your heart feels a little bit bruised and battered! I kind of feel like I’m walking out this right now:

We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. 2 cor. 4:8 (The Message)

That’s the deal….what’s going on with you?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Jill Williams permalink
    June 2, 2009 5:47 pm

    Thanks for sharing, Tracy. I’ll be thinking about you guys.

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