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Uninvited guest….

June 4, 2009

Tuesday night I had to work late and the hubs had worship team rehearsal at church so I did not get home with the kids until almost 9pm. When time is at a premium, I will often rehearse with them in the car on the way home what the “routine” will be when we walk in the door. So I gave them the rundown and it went something like this.

  • Walk in the door
  • Immediately put your things away
  • Quickly pick out clothes for the morning
  • Tell me what you want in your lunch
  • Take a quick shower – Pixie in the kid’s shower and Boy Wonder in mine.

I know I was sounding a bit like a Drill Sergeant, but I wanted them to get showers and get to bed in some semblance of a timely fashion so the morning wouldn’t be chaotic (and incidentally, forgoing showers was not an option since neither of them had showered in 3 days – we’ve been busy!)

They did fairly well with the first few requests and things were moving along nicely. Clothes were picked, lunches were in process and both kids were headed to different showers. That’s when the screaming started.

When I say screaming, I don’t mean the kind of screaming that involves my two children hard at work bullying each other. This more along the lines of “there’s an ax murderer in my bathroom trying to kill me” and it was coming from my Pixie down the hall. Boy wonder and I went running toward the bathroom and found her standing in the hallway with no clothes on sobbing hysterically. When I asked her what was wrong she said “There’s a big bug in the shower and it scared me.”

Being the man-in-training that he is, Boy Wonder took on a bit of a mocking tone and responded that it certainly wasn’t something to SCREAM about and it couldn’t possibly be that bad. I went into the bathroom with him to look around while  he insisted that there wasn’t anything there – she must have imagined it. That’s when I spotted IT…(cue the horror movie music.)

There was a cockroach on the wall of the shower – right above the faucet handle. Just sitting there as bold as can be. This sucker was ever bit 3 or 3 1/2 inches long (I’m seriously not exaggerating) and probably the ugliest bug I have ever seen in my life.

Let me give you a little history here….I don’t do bugs. I mean seriously, I REALLY don’t do bugs. I’m not afraid of a lot, but bugs of any sort freak the living heck out of me.

Boy Wonder caught a glance and said “I’m not going near that thing” and we both beat a hasty retreat from the bathroom. Since hubs wasn’t home we had no hope of rescue in the near future. Our solution? Shut the door, put a towel in front of the crack at the bottom and trap the thing in there until it could be dealt with by one much braver and less neurotic than I.

My history with creative bug trapping is long. I don’t kill them – ever. I simply hide them until somebody else comes along to deal with them. I have on occasion, sprayed them with hairspray until death overtook them, or sucked them up with the hose attachment on the vacuum cleaner (which always comes back to haunt me later when I worry that they are going to crawl back out.) For the most part, however, my favorite method of dealing with them involves trapping them – under cups, bowls,buckets…anything will do as long as I don’t have to look at it, kill it or worry that it’s going to come after me!

We recovered and the kids took turns showering in my shower until our hero came home and slayed the horrible bug (he’s never allowed to leave me by the way!) and the bug-spraying man is on his way to our home today to lay down the “protective barrier” that is theoretically supposed to keep those evil critters at bay. All is well with the world again and we can shower in peace.

We’ve been informed since that here in the South they are more commonly known as “Palmetto Bugs” which is a much more gentile way of saying “Cockroach” – I say whatever you call them they are disgusting and if I ever see another one in my house I may move! 






So…how do you deal with uninvited guests?

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 22, 2009 6:28 am

    It is true, their actions can be poured into these well-stacked boxes. ,

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