We're all in this together….

Hillsong United – worship music powerhouse has something special up their sleeve coming in November:

“We’re All in this Together”- Part apologetic, part documentary, part call to action, the film is a story made up of many stories, told by many voices, no individual voice any more or any less important than any other, yet every voice working together to ultimately tell the ONE story – A story that involves everyONE; that seeks to capture our collective and idiosyncratic purpose in ONE.

This project is going to be released nationwide in theaters on November 4th and is going to be massive call-to-action for the church – as well as an action packed evening.

You can read more about it by clicking  here and watching the trailer below.

I’m going – are you?

ht: Shaun Groves for alerting me to this fantastic project!

Jesus is watching you….

I found this picture at passive aggressive notes.com and just thought it was too good to pass up. Apparently, Jesus is watching out for the Diet Coke thieves out there in the world.

I personally enjoy the graphic robe and the wink/point thing this Jesus has going on. He looks like a pretty rad guy….just stay away from the Diet Coke.

I have an agenda

I try to stay out of politics – for two reasons. The first is that I’m aware of my lack of understanding about, well, a lot. I don’t want to talk about things that I don’t fully understand. The second reason? It’s too divisive. Seriously…I have seen otherwise rational and reasonable people get worked into an angry frenzy while discussing political “hot buttons” with people who’s views don’t quite match their own.

Let’s face it, a good deal of political opinion is simply that – opinion. You may be able to back it up with something, but that something usually leads back to the opinion of somebody else.

I have my opinions just like everyone else, and I hold them dear to my heart – cause I’m usually right you see! (I kid….) and I am smart enough to admit that my opinions and view aren’t always “right” even though they may be right for me and my family. My hubby and I voted differently in the presidential election this past year, and we never fought about it one time – it never even crossed our minds to debate it with each other!

My point is, that I get it.  I understand that not everyone agrees with our President as a man, as a leader…and for some, as ANYTHING. I get that he has inspired controversy among many, but especially among Christians. We are all entitled to our opinions and convictions. What I don’t understand or agree with, however, is the loud and angry outcry that I’ve heard about something as seemingly innocent and innocuous as a Presidential speech to school children (you can find the text of the speech here)

I simply don’t understand why I would need to “protect” my children from “this kind of garbage” (these are direct quotes I’ve read in the last few days) or that I should “stand up for my country and my family and refuse to let something as dangerous as this take place” of even that “as a concerned parent I should make sure that these messages from the liberal government won’t take root in my child’s heart”  All of these quotes came from Brothers or Sisters in Christ – people who are called to love lavishly. What message is this sending out to the rest of the world?

The way I understand the Bible, Jesus was pretty clear that the entire gospel could be summed up one way.  “Love God, and love people” I’ve taken that to heart and for me it means “ALWAYS fall on the side of loving someone. Love first, and ask questions later” I happen to think that includes politics. I can disagree, I can feel defensive, I can even feel justified in my thinking, but if I’m not LOVING with my words and actions then I have failed to live out the one thing Jesus has asked of me.

Sure it’s hard – we may feel like our “Christian values” have been threatened…but have they? Isn’t God still Sovereign? Doesn’t he still rule and reign? Does putting our trust in God mean that we still have to defend our “religious rights?”

I read a blog post from Eugene Cho that you can find here. In this post, he pointed out “I’m also very concerned at our collective inability or unwillingness to listen to others that don’t share in our personal worldviews…” Ouch! I may not agree with President Obama, or you, or my husband, or somebody I work with, but aren’t they a person created in God’s image who deserves my respect and willingness to listen?

I wrote this in response to  Shaun Groves facebook post on the topic of this “controversial speech”

“Since I’m too chicken to say this on my own blog or facebook page….I’m frankly heartsick and horrified at the way much of the “body of Christ” has handled this. What image are we sending out to the rest of the world? Intolerant? Paranoid? Self Righteous? Arrogant? Willing to shoot off our mouths without regard to anybody else or without being able to back up our bad behavior?

I have seen NOTHING that convinces me that I need to be concerned, alarmed, angry, defensive or protective of my children’s innocence throughout this whole controversy. Honestly, I’m more inclined to want to protect my children from this type of attitude coming from people that should know better and love better… At least that’s what I WOULD say if I wasn’t afraid of offending…”

And you know what? It probably will offend somebody. I hate offending anyone…but I’ve decided that I’m ok with it in some cases if I’m not offending Christ. His is the only opinion that matters actually. I realize that I have just as much of an agenda as everyone else,  but I’ve decided that my agenda needs to be bringing honor to Jesus. I want to learn gracious disagreement, how to love those whose actions and worldviews don’t match my own. And maybe, just maybe….I’ll grow in the process and find that sometimes I’m not right!

Adventures in law-breaking…

I would not consider myself a law breaker by nature. I’m a pretty “by the rules” kind of girl. That being said, when it comes to driving, I find it almost impossible to go EXACTLY the speed limit. I don’t drive recklessly or overly fast, but I do speed frequently.

I’ve never had a speeding ticket before, probably because I tend to keep it in that “fast but not too fast” category. Either that, or I’ve just been lucky. Whatever the case, my luck ran out on July 4, 2009.

 I was driving home from Target with some groceries for a cookout we had planned later that day with friends. I didn’t feel like I was going too fast, but apparently the State Trooper who was hiding in the bushes did. Either  that or he was bored and wanted to see the mom in the van cry! Whatever the case, I saw those flashing blue lights behind me and knew I was busted – 1/3 of a mile away from my house.

He pulled me over and asked why I was speeding to which I replied “I didn’t know I was speeding”. It probably was not the best answer I could have given but it was true. He asked me if I had ever had a ticket before and when I said no he handed me a ticket for $150.  Driving 58 in a 45. So much for warnings. The amazing part is that the ticket itself was for $30…the other $120 was for “court costs”

On Monday of this week I went to court for my stupid  expensive ticket. I figured it was worth a shot. After standing in line with all the other law breakers speeders I had a chance to play “Lets Make a Deal” with the DA. I had all kind of excellent suggestions for him, he wasn’t impressed by any of them. His final offer was reducing it to 50 in a 45. $15 fine but still $120 in court costs. After all that wheeling and dealing, turns out I didn’t have the cash on me to pay at the time and they don’t take checks so I have to go back AGAIN in September to pay it.

The moral of the story? Crime doesn’t pay, the posted speed limit isn’t a suggestion…. and it’s wise to have a radar detector!

Silence….

It’s been almost two months since I’ve written anything here. I’ve thought about it often. I’ve tried to write but everything came out sounding hollow and empty. I didn’t have anything funny or creative or deep or meaningful to share so I’ve been silent.

I’m learning that silence is OK. I’ve spent a large portion of my life running from silence. It’s always felt heavy and overwhelming to me. Alone with my thoughts, I can fall victim to all sorts of crazy rabbit trails.

Sometimes I hear the lies in silence – the ones that tell me I’m not good enough and never will be. The ones that tell me I have nothing to contribute….and on it goes. I’m sure you are as familiar with those lies as I am and hear some of them too.

Sometimes in the silence I experience regret. All the things I wish I had done but didn’t. All the things I did but wish I had not. I’m sure you are familiar with that drill as well.

The silence that scares me the most, however, is the silence where I experience nothing. The silence where God seems far, my thoughts can’t settle and I feel utterly alone. This is the silence that I run from the hardest and the fastest. Turn on the TV, Jump on the Internet, Call somebody, Read a book. Anything to escape from the silence that seems crushing and empty.

I think God has had me on a journey these last few months. I’ll be honest with you, I haven’t turned to him much – in fact, I’ve turned away more times than not. I’ve felt alone, I’ve felt burdened, I’ve felt scattered and confused. I’ve wondered where the person I knew ME as had escaped to. I’ve wondered if I would ever again feel like the dreams that were part of my heart would live and breathe again. And I’ve tried to run from the silence.

Here’s what God has been teaching me lately, in spite of all my running, my shortfalls and my confusion. Silence can be beautiful. I’m learning to listen more and talk less. I’m learning that I don’t have to call somebody as soon as I get in the car to escape being alone with my thoughts. I’m learning that those moments before sleep when all is quiet and it’s just me and my thoughts are grace-filled moments where God is pouring comfort into my soul. Comfort that I need to keep going. Comfort that I need to start living from my heart again and breathing life into some of those dreams.

I feel a little bit like King David:

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

I didn’t know if but God has been working in the silence…holding my hand and leading me back to him. My flesh will continue to fail, my heart will continue to fail, but if I learn from this maybe I’ll start embracing the silence.

What have you learned from silence?

Literal Beatles

Have you seen any of these? Who doesn’t love a little bit of the Beatles?

Behold….the Beatles, literal style.

How I Got My Groove Back…..

These are my kids – Meet Pixie:

and Boy Wonder:

I love my kids – they are amazing and fun and full of life. They are also, to put it bluntly, exhausting. They don’t mean to be, I’m certain. Kids have similar life-draining traits that they universally share and mine are no exception. I always love them, but sometimes it gets a little bit harder to  like enjoy them after repeating the same thing eleventy-hundred times. I swear sometime I could record myself saying a handful of things and just play it on an endless loop and they would never know.

“Pick up your dirty clothes off the bathroom floor” “Come help clear the table” “You can’t hide in the bathroom EVERY time there is something to do around here” “Did you SERIOUSLY wipe boogers ON YOUR WALL?”…you get the picture. If you have children, I’m sure you repeat these and other amusing statements multiple times each day as well.

I’m a good mom, but I’m not as fun as I used to be before I had children. I don’t know if it’s possible to be your carefree, spontaneous former self when you are bogged down with all the responsibilities of raising and molding small people into responsible adults. The process sort of…sucks the fun out of you.

We live in a different state from both of my husband’s sets of parents. For them to spend any degree of quality time alone with the kids involves a trip and some planning. Since we are somewhat short on vacation time and planning to go back and visit for Christmas, a summer trip just wasn’t in the cards for hubs and I. The kids and the grandparents, however, all had ample time off in the summer and slowly a plan started forming that has become one of the most highly-anticipated experiences of my year!

As we speak, my children are hundreds of miles away in another state. They have been gone for almost 5 days. They will not return for another 10. If you are doing the math in your head, you will have already figured out that this means slightly over TWO WEEKS alone at home with my husband and no kids. TWO WEEKS! I’m still a little bit awe-struck by it.

In the past few days I have read an entire novel in one sitting, I have eaten pancakes for dinner at 8pm, I have gone out to dinner with my husband and received a late Mother’s Day pedicure….on a Tuesday night. Seriously, a Tuesday! Normally on a Tuesday evening I would be up to my ears in homework and dinner cleanup and showers and bedtimes….instead I was sitting in a spa with gentle music and fountains splashing while somebody rubbed my feet and the hubs browsed a few doors down at Barnes and Noble. This is unheard of luxury to us.

I’m still amazed at the unbelievable quiet in my home. It would seem that the two smaller people are not only the source of most of the noise around here, but they are also the source of almost ALL of the clutter and mess. My house is clean, my laundry is not piled up, and everything is quiet.  The only fly in the ointment for us is that we still have to work during the day. If we could get out of that, life would be pretty much perfect!

I’ve realized that I’m still spontaneous and still fun…I just don’t let that girl out much these days. I fill my days and nights with all the things that make a home run smoothly and mold those kids into responsible adults. This doesn’t leave much time for the fun me.

All this is changing for the next 10 days, however. I’m getting my groove back. I’m claiming my fun self, and I’m remembering what it was like to just be me. I’m sure in a few days or a week I’ll miss my kids like crazy and I will be so happy when they come home, but for right now I’m just enjoying the silence and the freedom!

April Rose Thoughts….

I thought about saying nothing concerning this topic because I don’t want to contribute to the noise swirling around. I guess in some ways it’s really none of my business, but I do have a few thoughts that I want to share about this “scandal”.

For those of you who are reading and saying “what the heck is she talking about” Let me briefly fill you in. A blog was started in March or April of this year by a young mother named “B” who wished to remain anonymous and wanted to chronicle her pregnancy with a baby that had been diagnosed as terminal or “not compatible with life”. This blog quickly gained attention as several well known bloggers caught wind of the story and thousands of people begain visiting and praying for this little girl who had been named “Little April Rose”. “B” wrote beautifully and eloquently about her thoughts, emotions, fears and her faith.  I too followed her blog for several months praying for April Rose and her safe healthy birth.

On Sunday of this past week, word began circulating on twitter and in the blogsphere  that April Rose had been born.  Many updates on her condition after birth were posted, along with a few photos. On Monday, suddenly all the blog posts, pictures and updates were gone and the buzz began that the entire thing was a hoax.

Several of the prominent bloggers who drew attention to this story addressed the situation with a post that can be found here containing their thoughts and sad conclusion that the entire situation was indeed ficticious – they handled it with grace, diplomacy and great tact.

I have absolutely no intention of adding to the gossip or speculation that is swirling surrounding this unfortunate situation. What has happened is between the individuals who were directly involved in the events that took place. God alone knows the hearts and minds of those involved.

Is it sad and disappointing that somebody would deceive in this way? Absolutely.  I understand the hurt or confusion that some may be experiencing at having been deceived. What I don’t understand, however, is the rage and the lack of mercy that has been given. I have seen terrible things said and written in the last few days about this individual. I have seen a great deal of speculation and finger pointing as well.

Here is the bottom line, for me. Judgement doesn’t belong to me – it belongs to God. He knows her heart and her situation intimately. He knows HER and loves her deeply and without reservation. She was created in his image. 

Descending like a pack of wolves to point fingers and throw stones when somebody makes a mistake or even deliberatly hurts doesn’t bring about redemption. Love, mercy and prayer bring about redemption.

Were the thousands upon thousands of prayers given on her behalf wasted as some have said? I don’t believe so. Prayer is never wasted. Prayer is about intimate communion between you and your Father – how can that be wasted? Were the people who sent gifts betrayed and wronged? Possibly…..but I prefer to think that if I am obedient to my Father and he leads me to give in some fashion to anybody, it’s not my concern what they do with that gift. If I give to somebody who is deceptive, all I have to know is that I followed the prompting of the Lord – the rest is up to him.

I’m sure that eventually this story will fade away and people will move on. New stories will surface and we will be faced with a decision to react out of anger and distrust…and in doing so, stop being the hands and feet of Jesus to a broken world. We will probably never know if the majority of people we come into contact with are giving us the straight story. If we close off our hearts, we are missing out on the amazing privilege of being part of those stories that ARE true. We can protect ourselves, but the cost is high.

I’m choosing to trust and love in spite of occasional disappointment. I hope you will to!

I’m praying that wherever “B” is right now that she is surrounded by people who love her unconditionally and will help her walk through this very difficult time – and point her towards redemption.

Uninvited guest….

Tuesday night I had to work late and the hubs had worship team rehearsal at church so I did not get home with the kids until almost 9pm. When time is at a premium, I will often rehearse with them in the car on the way home what the “routine” will be when we walk in the door. So I gave them the rundown and it went something like this.

• Walk in the door
• Immediately put your things away
• Quickly pick out clothes for the morning
• Tell me what you want in your lunch
• Take a quick shower – Pixie in the kid’s shower and Boy Wonder in mine.

I know I was sounding a bit like a Drill Sergeant, but I wanted them to get showers and get to bed in some semblance of a timely fashion so the morning wouldn’t be chaotic (and incidentally, forgoing showers was not an option since neither of them had showered in 3 days – we’ve been busy!)

They did fairly well with the first few requests and things were moving along nicely. Clothes were picked, lunches were in process and both kids were headed to different showers. That’s when the screaming started.

When I say screaming, I don’t mean the kind of screaming that involves my two children hard at work bullying each other. This more along the lines of “there’s an ax murderer in my bathroom trying to kill me” and it was coming from my Pixie down the hall. Boy wonder and I went running toward the bathroom and found her standing in the hallway with no clothes on sobbing hysterically. When I asked her what was wrong she said “There’s a big bug in the shower and it scared me.”

Being the man-in-training that he is, Boy Wonder took on a bit of a mocking tone and responded that it certainly wasn’t something to SCREAM about and it couldn’t possibly be that bad. I went into the bathroom with him to look around while  he insisted that there wasn’t anything there – she must have imagined it. That’s when I spotted IT…(cue the horror movie music.)

There was a cockroach on the wall of the shower – right above the faucet handle. Just sitting there as bold as can be. This sucker was ever bit 3 or 3 1/2 inches long (I’m seriously not exaggerating) and probably the ugliest bug I have ever seen in my life.

Let me give you a little history here….I don’t do bugs. I mean seriously, I REALLY don’t do bugs. I’m not afraid of a lot, but bugs of any sort freak the living heck out of me.

Boy Wonder caught a glance and said “I’m not going near that thing” and we both beat a hasty retreat from the bathroom. Since hubs wasn’t home we had no hope of rescue in the near future. Our solution? Shut the door, put a towel in front of the crack at the bottom and trap the thing in there until it could be dealt with by one much braver and less neurotic than I.

My history with creative bug trapping is long. I don’t kill them – ever. I simply hide them until somebody else comes along to deal with them. I have on occasion, sprayed them with hairspray until death overtook them, or sucked them up with the hose attachment on the vacuum cleaner (which always comes back to haunt me later when I worry that they are going to crawl back out.) For the most part, however, my favorite method of dealing with them involves trapping them – under cups, bowls,buckets…anything will do as long as I don’t have to look at it, kill it or worry that it’s going to come after me!

We recovered and the kids took turns showering in my shower until our hero came home and slayed the horrible bug (he’s never allowed to leave me by the way!) and the bug-spraying man is on his way to our home today to lay down the “protective barrier” that is theoretically supposed to keep those evil critters at bay. All is well with the world again and we can shower in peace.

We’ve been informed since that here in the South they are more commonly known as “Palmetto Bugs” which is a much more gentile way of saying “Cockroach” – I say whatever you call them they are disgusting and if I ever see another one in my house I may move! 

 

 

 

 

So…how do you deal with uninvited guests?

What's going on?

Hey friends, it’s been a few days hasn’t it? I’ve tried to post a few times in the last week but I’ve just not really had much to say – and I almost always have something to say!

Here’s the dealio…I’ve been struggling this last week. I’m not depressed and I’m not feeling hopeless, but I’m still struggling. I feel overwhelmed. I feel frustrated. I feel restless and even a bit anxious. I could come up with something funny to post instead of telling you how I’m actually feeling, but I’m trying hard to live authentically – and authentic gets you the me that’s struggling today!

So what’s going on? Why am I overwhelmed, frustrated, restless and anxious? I wish I could be truly honest! My nature is to be transparent, but I’ve learned the hard way that a public forum isn’t the right place for too much transparency. 

Let me say this…I’m ok, we’re ok and it’s all going to BE ok. Today is hard, this week has been hard and some areas of my life have simply been hard for quite awhile. 

I’m embracing the reality that it’s ok to struggle, to question and to be real. It doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t change who God is and it doesn’t change the reality of the incredible blessings that are part of my life.

Today is one of those days where I wish I had a totally anonymous blog so that I could honestly vent…lay out what I’m thinking and feeling. Talk about what’s going on and not fear that people who know me will read it and misunderstand! Since I can’t do that….what I will say is, I’d appreciate your prayers!

We’re on the verge of some biggish decisions, some vision casting, and I feel as if in some ways we are “at the fork in the road”  –  I’d love some prayerful support! We’re walking through some relational brokenness that is taking a toll and we would love God’s wisdom.

The bottom line? We are ok…I am ok, but we could be better. I could be better. I feel discouraged, but I also feel hopeful. I’ve been around long enough to know that God often does his best work when your heart feels a little bit bruised and battered! I kind of feel like I’m walking out this right now:

We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. 2 cor. 4:8 (The Message)

That’s the deal….what’s going on with you?